Eh?

I've had a nasty bout of the flu and am currently deaf in one ear.



Being half deaf isn't that bad. It's a license to squint at people and call them 'sonny'. But the best example of the deaf-advantage was discovered by a friend of mine back in Christchurch.

She (we'll call her Wendy, because that is in fact her name) was walking home from work one evening along the tram tracks on a quiet street in Christchurch city. Christchurch has trams, but they are a tourist attraction rather than a genuine means of transport - as they are slow, expensive, and run on a pathetically small loop around the cbd. When she got to the end of the street she casually glanced behind her.

Bearing down on her was an angry looking tram driver and a lot of impatient tourists. They had been stuck behind her as she ambled along the street. Her first instinct was to blurt out

I'm deaf!

and gesture at her ears. She even did that deaf voice. You know the one.

Feigning a disability as a reflex action certainly has its merits. Tourette's could have its uses, as could selective dyslexia.

Because what kind of motherfucking asswipe shit cunts fine someone for parking in a 'Postponing' zone?