Is It You Or Is It Me?

I had forgotten all about Shortland Street, the hospital melodrama which captivates millions of New Zealanders (maybe even all 4!) every night at 7 o'clock. For those expats jonesing for a fix, here's an update.

The hospital has been terrorised by a serial killer for an unreasonably long period of time. What do they think this is, Coronation Street? The investigator currently holed up in the hospital interrogating suspects is employing interesting new techniques with the CEO, Chris Warner. Apparently vaginal interrogation is more effective than one might suppose.

Some girl who wasn't on the show last Christmas had her birthday party. She has a friend with Tourette's who gave her a present and called her a skank. I love how they're not afraid to tackle the big issues.

Another 17 year old boy is in love with his friend's mother. I fail to recall a significant 17 year old character on Shortland Street who hasn't done this. It's a rite of passage, like your first hammed up drunk scene, and the first friend to commit suicide after coming out to their intolerant parents.

Otherwise it's more of the same. Hideously stiff overacting, embarrassingly misplaced slang, and when one character talks EVERYONE is paying attention. It's a lot like watching a school play, only no one is dressed as a tree. No wonder though, as this hidden camera footage reveals who's really making the big calls in these magical isles.