Writers have fallen quill over tip in love with doing stupid things in their real lives to generate career-making content. Living in a cardboard box for a year, exclusively eating fast food for a year, adopting 17 African orphans for a year, you know the type of thing.
As an unabashed trend-whore, I'm jumping on the bandwagon. Well, sort of. I actually decided to run the Melbourne Marathon in January this year, and only just realised that I could probably blog about it yesterday. I guess I'm not the sharpest whore on the wagon.
I wanted to make 2008 a good year. Good years for me are where I get stuff done. The trip was my project for the first half of this year, and the race is going to tide me over until October 12th. After that, who knows? Heroin, crack - the sky's the limit!
My training officially started today, although I've been running on and off for a couple of years now. I ran 13km, it was the first of my long runs. It was the longest I've ever run in one go, and it was hard. I possibly wet my pants a bit at the end but I was sweating so much I couldn't really tell.
Just for reference, the marathon is 42km, so what I ran today was just under 1/3 of the final race. I have a feeling I may be up piss creek without an adult incontinence aid, but am otherwise maintaining my usual brand of breezy optimism. It's Day One, bitches!!
Sunday, 20 July 2008
FAQ trip to Mongolia
In the interests of efficiency, here's some answers to the most frequently asked questions about my trip to Mongolia.
Mongolia, huh?
Oh my yes.
Why?
Because it's more fun to go somewhere nobody goes. Plus horse riding.
How was the food?
Great if you like boiled mutton.
Was it amazing?
Yep.
What about the riots?
They were impressive. Luckily I was a few hundred kms away, so I was not in any danger. Other than a few burnt-out museums, theatres and galleries, you'd hardly know they happened at all. The Mongolian government didn't let a few dead rioters dampen their patriotic spirit, commissioning a large-scale fireworks display almost directly over my hotel. For about 10 seconds I thought I was in a warzone. Other than that, I was just fine.
What's that brown powder you're snorting through a 10 tugrik note in many of the photos?
Snuff, apparently. Menthol flavoured. I shared some with the mayor of a small town so it must be kosher.
Where are your photos?
Here. I will put the rest up when I can be bothered. There will also be a dvd of which I might put up a snippet to demonstrate how I successfully stayed on my horse while other people *ahem* did not. You know who you are.
Who did you go with?
These people. Definitely worth a look if you like that sort of thing.
Mongolia, huh?
Oh my yes.
Why?
Because it's more fun to go somewhere nobody goes. Plus horse riding.
How was the food?
Great if you like boiled mutton.
Was it amazing?
Yep.
What about the riots?
They were impressive. Luckily I was a few hundred kms away, so I was not in any danger. Other than a few burnt-out museums, theatres and galleries, you'd hardly know they happened at all. The Mongolian government didn't let a few dead rioters dampen their patriotic spirit, commissioning a large-scale fireworks display almost directly over my hotel. For about 10 seconds I thought I was in a warzone. Other than that, I was just fine.
What's that brown powder you're snorting through a 10 tugrik note in many of the photos?
Snuff, apparently. Menthol flavoured. I shared some with the mayor of a small town so it must be kosher.
Where are your photos?
Here. I will put the rest up when I can be bothered. There will also be a dvd of which I might put up a snippet to demonstrate how I successfully stayed on my horse while other people *ahem* did not. You know who you are.
Who did you go with?
These people. Definitely worth a look if you like that sort of thing.
Sunday, 13 July 2008
The real question is, where haven't I been?
On my way home from Mongolia. A big, picture-heavy post is pending. Went off the blog for a bit because I didn't think I had much to write about. It's lovely that a few people missed it :)
Friday, 29 February 2008
5 more dangerous things you should let your kids do
After watching this, I started thinking about the danger of bundling kids up in protective wrapping. If you tie your kids up with all kinds of crazy rules you just make them afraid of the world - and prevent them from learning how to be safe. I have a few things I'd like to add to the list.
1. Climbing Things
Things were meant to be clambered all over. Remember that most things in the world are made too large for kids to properly experience them when standing in front of them. And how the hell are you supposed to work out what's too high to jump from until you've jumped off something a bit too high?
2. Dirt
Don't be obsessed with keeping your kids clean all the time. Clean in the morning, clean before the go to sleep - that's all you can ask. Getting in a good dose of germs early could help them avoid allergies and asthma. Think your kids should be presentable? Who are you presenting them to? This also includes not dressing your kids in clothes which stop them being able to do things (see climbing).
3. Cooking
Cooking and baking are great opportunities for kids to learn about science. But I think the biggest bonus of getting kids in the kitchen is the feeling they get of being capable. Teach them a recipe for something they really like, from the beginning to the end, until they're able to do it entirely on their own. Being helped all the time really isn't helping them.
4. Friend's houses
Oh, god, how bad could their house be? As long as they call to tell you where they are, I don't see why you have to insist on screening all their friends, not to mention the families of their friends. Would your friends measure up if your parents still got to call the shots?
5. Sex ed
They should know about sex and where babies come from as early as possible to innoculate them from the insanely stupid things that other kids are going to tell them. This means BEFORE they get to school. Let them be the one to set things straight for all the other deluded stork-fanciers. If you're that embarrassed, how did you manage to make the thing in the first place?
1. Climbing Things
Things were meant to be clambered all over. Remember that most things in the world are made too large for kids to properly experience them when standing in front of them. And how the hell are you supposed to work out what's too high to jump from until you've jumped off something a bit too high?
2. Dirt
Don't be obsessed with keeping your kids clean all the time. Clean in the morning, clean before the go to sleep - that's all you can ask. Getting in a good dose of germs early could help them avoid allergies and asthma. Think your kids should be presentable? Who are you presenting them to? This also includes not dressing your kids in clothes which stop them being able to do things (see climbing).
3. Cooking
Cooking and baking are great opportunities for kids to learn about science. But I think the biggest bonus of getting kids in the kitchen is the feeling they get of being capable. Teach them a recipe for something they really like, from the beginning to the end, until they're able to do it entirely on their own. Being helped all the time really isn't helping them.
4. Friend's houses
Oh, god, how bad could their house be? As long as they call to tell you where they are, I don't see why you have to insist on screening all their friends, not to mention the families of their friends. Would your friends measure up if your parents still got to call the shots?
5. Sex ed
They should know about sex and where babies come from as early as possible to innoculate them from the insanely stupid things that other kids are going to tell them. This means BEFORE they get to school. Let them be the one to set things straight for all the other deluded stork-fanciers. If you're that embarrassed, how did you manage to make the thing in the first place?
Sunday, 24 February 2008
Get a haircut and a mindfuck at the same time.
Ok, put on your headphones and listen to this.
Thank jebus for BoingBoing.
Thank jebus for BoingBoing.
On Bogans or 9 am Speed Bumps
He’s just had some bad news, give him a hug? Eh?He’s explaining in the careful, out loud logic of the truly shitfaced. Out loud, outside my house, on the street. Everything these people do is out loud.
Its ok, she’s probably just scared because we’re a bit drunk... WE’RE NOT BAD PEOPLE YOU KNOW.
The guy he is with looks like a stray cat. Soft, new eyebrow skin where the scabs are peeling off. About 20 metres away, a black stretch limo slips by, heading for the races. Followed by a white one.
We’re not really bad peoplehe says, reading fear into loathing, picking up the last bottle of Carlton from the street and putting it on the curb. As if it made any difference. Congratulations, you cocksucker, you’re a nominee for neighbour of the fucking year. The parking warden couldn’t believe no one had keyed their cars, parked in the middle of the road like that. But this isn’t that kind of place.
Some guy walks out, and says in a tarmac voice
Get it together. You’ll go see your daughter… I’ve got a daughter and I go see her sometimes, some weekends I go… SO SNAP OUT OF IT FA FUCK’S SAKEThe receptacle into which their wisdom is dispensed has that injured cat posture, from speeding through the night and the morning and a lot of nights before that. It's impossible to tell where the drug-induced rawness stops and the real bleeding begins, and so, impossible to give a fuck.
Tuesday, 12 February 2008
Sorry.
So often Australians think of New Zealand as a younger sibling - the little island on the side that is always trying to compete, trying to catch up.
But when I first came to Australia, I often felt like I had slipped into a time warp, back to before the Waitangi Comission, before Te Reo in schools, before I was born. Australian race relations were stuck in the 60s, in a knot of denial and bitterness. It was almost as if the government thought it could wait aboriginality out.
It's funny how one little election changes so much. Tomorrow, a beautifully written 300 words or so will be presented by the Australian Government (and even the Opposition, after the obligatory posturing) to all the people of Australia. It says that you're sorry for the things you've done to each other.
Being sorry isn't a sign of weakness. Carrying the burden of the terrible things done in this country's history (as in my own) weighs everyone down. Until regret is expressed, how can forgiveness be given? And to remain unforgiven is a terrible thing.
These are 300 words not just for the stolen generation but for everyone with a history in this place. And you can feel pride that you've brought Australia to this point together, to the beginning of what will be a long process of reconciliation and healing.
It will take years. But as the wrongs are slowly uncovered and you try to make things right, you'll feel this love for your country that has nothing to do with sporting achievements or wearing your flag as a cape. It's a fierce and slow-burning pride in the way things are headed, the way you do things now, which is a million miles away from blind patriotism.
But when I first came to Australia, I often felt like I had slipped into a time warp, back to before the Waitangi Comission, before Te Reo in schools, before I was born. Australian race relations were stuck in the 60s, in a knot of denial and bitterness. It was almost as if the government thought it could wait aboriginality out.
It's funny how one little election changes so much. Tomorrow, a beautifully written 300 words or so will be presented by the Australian Government (and even the Opposition, after the obligatory posturing) to all the people of Australia. It says that you're sorry for the things you've done to each other.
Being sorry isn't a sign of weakness. Carrying the burden of the terrible things done in this country's history (as in my own) weighs everyone down. Until regret is expressed, how can forgiveness be given? And to remain unforgiven is a terrible thing.
These are 300 words not just for the stolen generation but for everyone with a history in this place. And you can feel pride that you've brought Australia to this point together, to the beginning of what will be a long process of reconciliation and healing.
It will take years. But as the wrongs are slowly uncovered and you try to make things right, you'll feel this love for your country that has nothing to do with sporting achievements or wearing your flag as a cape. It's a fierce and slow-burning pride in the way things are headed, the way you do things now, which is a million miles away from blind patriotism.
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